Chapter 2: The Beginning

Kent, England, 1804

Philip Pirrup, Junior, was born to Philip Pirrip, Senior, recently deceased, and Giorgianna Pirrup, soon to be recently deceased, during the Great Zombie War of 1800. His older brothers had already died from the plague that erupted from the polluted streets of London and spread to the outlying marshes carried by runagates attempting to escape the scourge and the zombies left in its wake.

The senior Pirrip, father of Alexander, Bartholomew, Abraham, Tobias, and Roger, and to the newborn "Pip" as he was later to call himself, was lying in the front yard of his home while his only other surviving child, 20 year old Georgianna, named after her beloved mother, stood over him, valiantly fighting off a second wave of attacking zombies.

"Georgie," her mother yelled from the front front room where she was being attended to by an increasingly frightened mid-wife.

Using her father's scythe, Georgie cut down the closest zombie and ran into the house, barricading the door.

"Take your brother and run!"

****

Joe Gargery, the blacksmith, knew the Pirrip family. In fact, Joe knew everyone who lived within 20 miles of his forge for he was the only blacksmith within 20 miles of anywhere and when the pollution in London and the other cities of commerce became so bad that even the animals were infected, and the miasma from the sewers and gutters began to spread and infect the sick and dying, and the zombie plague brought back the dead who then infected the living, Joe knew that eventually not even the marshes would be safe and had begun to forge weapons and train his neighbors in their use. Farmers brought in plowshares that Joe beat into swords, scythes that he sharpened to a razors edge, and other farm implements that he reconstructed into weapons. And it was with one of those weapons that he now approached the Pirrip homestead.

****

A handful of zombies were clawing at the closed door and barricaded window. Two crouched over the senior Pirrip pulling chunks of flesh free and gorging themselves upon it. Without breaking stride, Joe swung his falchion, decapitating both zombies, and continued toward the house.

Scattered about the yard were the headless bodies of other zombies, and Joe noted that someone had put up a rather good fight. His approach was noticed too late by the zombies fighting to get into the house and with surprising speed and dexterity, Joe quickly dispatched the remaining zombies then, using the blade of his sword, worked the front door open and stepped inside.

He was too late. The back door stood open and lying across the floor were the remains of Georgianna Pirrip and the mid-wife.

******

I don't know what it is that influences the person we become, but being born while my family was being killed by zombies had to have some impact on my person. My father lay dead in the yard with my five brothers, and my mother and her mid-wife were killed literally minutes after my birth by the zombies who broke down the door in pursuit of human flesh. Had my sister not escaped with me, I would not be here to tell this story.

Joe Gargery's timely arrival prevented further desecration of my family and spared them the fate of being devoured. It was, however, Joe's obligation to ensure that Philip, late of this parish; also Georgianna, wife of the above; and Alexander, Bartholomew, Abraham, Tobias, and Roger did not join the ranks of the undead. The details of these necessary measures need not be described here. Let it suffice to say that the only reliable method for preventing the reanimation of the dead involves fire and decapitation.

My sister Georgianna, from here forward referred to as "my sister" so as not be confused with Georgianna my mother and because I hated her, must also have influenced the development of my character, largely due to the violent and abusive manner in which she raised me.